So, in the last 3 or 4 weeks, I’ve been kinda busy with Guild Website stuff, and some Guild Admin in general. It’s a funny thing. I put forward an easy 200% more care and effort into that than into my lame arsed job. And I’m not sure that’s a good thing; in fact, I know it isn’t. But after some retrospection, I’m not about to change that. In the right light, from the right perspective, it’s actually therapeutic.
See, for a while there, I was getting frustrated. Guildies breaking guild rules, Officers not giving a damn, Officers breaking rules, lack of participation in Guild affairs, and a pile of website related issues that I’d set for myself or been asked to handle. I was getting a little overwhelmed, and since I cared about it all, and it was fun to work on (initially), I started to feel like quitting. If i was ‘working’ this hard and so few people gave a damn, if I was active in guild affairs and it made so little difference to the general apathy and crap attitude of so many guildies, then what was I doing it for? It was an added stress i just didn’t need.
But, just in the nick of time, I realized that there was a very good reason to keep at it. And that is this: it WAS fun, initially, and I DO enjoy this kind of ‘work’. I don’t get much satisfaction at my real job, and zero chance to put my creativity and savvy to work at home. Working for the guild, even if I’m the ONLY person who sees it or cares, provides just as much relief to me as playing the game itself. The game is pure entertainment, and this background stuff is like work-roleplay. It’s filling a void, I guess.
Heck, I’d love to get that great feeling of accomplishment at work, where I’m getting paid. I’d love to get paid for blogging and skinning and sitting on an Officer’s panel and all the ‘Fun’ stuff I do here behind the scenes… But even without pay or recognition, the fact is I still enjoy it.
So, rather than be frustrated that guildies can be tools, and rather than get bogged down in make-work projects on the site, I’ve decided to play it all at face value. I like it, so I’m doing it.